10 reasons John Bender is more badass than you
ONE
HE: Wears two different shoes.
YOU: Probably wear shoes your mum bought for you.
TWO
HE: Is thinking about trying out for a scholarship.
YOU: Pay to go to college.
THREE
HE: Is in detention for the rest of his natural life, and he’s not even close to caring .. BUD
YOU: Probably cried when they called your mum because you didn’t do your homework.
FOUR
HE: Lights his cigarette off his shoe.
YOU: Walk around asking strangers for a light.
FIVE
HE: Doesn’t wanna have to kill you because you’re fucking family will sue him man.
YOU: Apologized for bumping into a guy on the train.
SIX
HE: Took a screw out of the door so it would stay closed.
YOU: Tried to fix the door.
SEVEN
HE: Won’t speak for you because he doesn’t even know your language.
YOU: Are confused about what that means.
EIGHT
HE: Got a carton of cigarettes for Christmas (yo smoke up Johnny)
YOU: Got a Nickleback CD.
NINE
HE: Is very interested in persuing a career in the custodial arts.
YOU: Will probably end up mopping up shit for a living.
TEN
HE: Will turn it up for you.
YOU: Again, are confused about what that means but will probably turn it down in case your neighbours get mad.
