10 reasons John Bender is more badass than you

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ONE

HE: Wears two different shoes.

YOU
: Probably wear shoes your mum bought for you.

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TWO

HE: Is thinking about trying out for a scholarship.

YOU: Pay to go to college.

2monthsTHREE

HE: Is in detention for the rest of his natural life, and he’s not even close to caring .. BUD

YOU: Probably cried when they called your mum because you didn’t do your homework.

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FOUR

HE: Lights his cigarette off his shoe.

YOU: Walk around asking strangers for a light.

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FIVE

HE: Doesn’t wanna have to kill you because you’re fucking family will sue him man.

YOU: Apologized for bumping into a guy on the train.

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SIX

HE: Took a screw out of the door so it would stay closed.

YOU: Tried to fix the door.

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SEVEN

HE: Won’t speak for you because he doesn’t even know your language.

YOU: Are confused about what that means.

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EIGHT

HE: Got a carton of cigarettes for Christmas (yo smoke up Johnny)

YOU: Got a Nickleback CD.

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NINE

HE: Is very interested in persuing a career in the custodial arts.

YOU: Will probably end up mopping up shit for a living.

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TEN

HE: Will turn it up for you.

YOU: Again, are confused about what that means but will probably turn it down in case your neighbours get mad.