I wrote a similar rant to this a while back to one of our editors in regards to blog comments, but this one was too goddamn funny
why does this piss me off so much? GET IT RIGHT…
Date: 2005-11-15, 5:20PM CSTbecause it’s fucking pathetic!!
lose – the opposite of win, to misplace something, ONE FUCKING O
loose – the opposite of tight, your mother/wife/sister, TWO FUCKING O’s
how can so many people get these two confused? IDIOTS
your – a possessive, similar to mine, his, her as in “your loose slut of a sister loses her mind every time she gets railroaded by your whole inbred, shitbag excuse of a family”, NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
you’re – a contraction of “you are”, as in “you’re a dipshit”, A FUCKING APOSTROPHE
its – another possessive, similar to your, NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
it’s – a contraction of “it is”, as in ‘it’s fucking simple’, A FUCKING APOSTROPHE
Need a trick? Fine – when using it’s or you’re, expand the contraction. If “you’re head is full of shit” becomes “you are head is full of shit” and doesn’t make any sense (maybe it will to you because you’re a fucking idiot), then you are using the wrong word. Queef.
to – a preposition, as in “turn to the right” or “it’s time to go back to school”, ONE FUCKING O
too – an adverb (know what that is?), synonymous with “also”, “as well” as in “Really? I went to college too. I actually read a FUCKING BOOK.” It can also be used to mean “to a regrettable degree” as in “It’s too late for you, moron”, TWO FUCKING O’s
two – a number, it comes after one
there – an adverb, similar to here as in “your tiny bus is over there”
their – yet another possessive, similar to your as in “it’s not their fault that you’re a fucking retard. It’s YOUR fault.”
they’re – a contraction of “they are” as in “they’re not responsible for your complete ignorance of YOUR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. READ A BOOK!!”
IT’S NOT FUCKING HARD, DOUCHE BAGS.
By the way, grammar is spelled with TWO FUCKING A’s. So next time you want to flame someone for bad “grammer”, at least spell it right.